As a young anglophile freelancer writer, writing is something much like air for me, being able to stretch my feeling and ride my thoughts to some beautiful places is such a bless.
For me writing is like roaming in an empty green park and singing at the same time, roaming while breathing such a fresh air. You know what fresh air is made of? I’ll tell you what i know about it. Fresh air is is full of madness , greatness , a crazy imagination, and an extaordinary balance between those molecules. If you breath the fresh air you’ll probably feel free.
I did this once, and since then I do it frequently and it became my daily routine.
let me tell you about the first time I did this…
It was the fifth june 2013, and it was my birthday and accedentally it happens to be today too. 05/06/2013 was different, because it was the first time I decide to offer myself a gift, I decided to write something to myself because it felt like it was the time for “Me” to show up! It seems crazy hein?! For me it is not because I have this theory that I am not sure if i am the only one who is working with it but it is just that for me a birthday is when yoursellf is born to die again. I’ll be more clear with you dear readers; your soul gets the chance to be trasformed and developped in one night whose called a transition travel into time ( the souls timing) from (yourself) to you ; like for me I ‘ve been transforme from myself to me. In this transformation something I call ” dying young” is the death of the old soul, then ‘you’ born again and the process is called ” Birthday”.
It is rediculous somehow for me to be thinking this way, right? But nah I don’t think so…Cause I do believe in those things, I do believe in my imagination, I do believe in the power of my thoughts and one thing I have a logic whose one of kind. Thinking magically being unrealistic can make some things real sometimes, and that’s what happened on my birthday, I am about to tell you about the gift now; and I am sorry for rinding you chaotically to some corners into my mind , but hey you need to believe a little bit with me in the theorie bellow.
Simply my gift was to write a book to tell myself how amazing she is and that me is gone prove this, i had this feeling that myself left at the age of 20 years old sad and full of regrets and I was feeling deeply sorry about her. I had to make some kind of a modern tribute to those twenty years of myself living under the shadows of some broken dreams.
5/06/2013 happened also to be the first year I get a personal laptop, that I get the chance to carry on with me everywhere I go. This lap top turne out to be my door to get out and see the whole universe. the internet was just the quee to get out of my uncle Google’s Palace. Insane hein?! You haven’t seen anything yet…I started writing and it was a bit hard to start to write something that’s worth to be read. I tried like more than thousand times to be professionnal but there ws something holding me from being that way, and it is looking forward to be perfect on so many levels , it is something good and bad at the same time. Cause in my case while chasing the profile perfect picture I almost lost my real values who really I am trough my writings. So I had to take a break for a while and get myself together, nature was my only source of good energy.
I got back from my adventure to find myself, falling in love with what I wrote and the most important when I open my laptop and start tiping I see my reflection in the screen and that big smile full of hope wasn’t just a thing, but it was a promessing smile.
Seeing metalking about myself dreams in a whole book ade me realize that every end of a journey is the start of a whole another one. It is all about trying and runing the extra mile to get what you want, get your lights on and let them see you .
Finishing the writing is not easy, but when you start the edition by yourself you will realize that you were complaining for nothing cause the real work had just started. For me I got the help of a couple of friends, I also had the chance to meet an artist called Ibai Canal whose portugish and turned out for me to be lucky to have his help while drawing some fine art to my book. I’ll never thank them enough for helping during the whole process.
After two years of struggling to shape my work into a one piece of art, the time for publishing came and that step was the most import thing about being published. Honestly wasn’t looking for a local publicatin media in my coutry because i wanted to be a worldwide writer, I wanted to share my work with poeple from all over the world and give them a chance to realize how much willing to make a dream come true is such a brave step to take towards your future.
I looked on the internet for a publication media who publish free, and who worth the truts of it’s partners, honestly since I am the kind ogf persons who shoots for the moon while being too busy gaing the stars I had made an extrait and sent it to many well known publication medias. The first one was the Pinguin house of publishing based at Indiana.US. I got a respond from them and I was like ” this is unbelievalbe” cause they accepted to publish my work it was not a bad start after all for a baby born writer like me. It is true that when you want to get something you need to give back something else and that was the case with the publication media i had to pay 256$ fees of the script shipping and the edition thing.
I was just a student that time, no exta money and no back up to get this done even the option of saving some money to do this so was not welcomed my pocket money was not enough to make this possible. I got back to y parents like any other kid asking for their help but they were afaid of me surfing in a dark strange ocean; they thought that i shouldn’t trust people and just send money and my work to them and I should be more wise about these stuffs cause my work can be frauded . I was totally sad when I heard that from them because I thought they’ll be happy about their girl, and It took me a while to realize that if I want this ” Being a Published Writer” I had to fight for that Dream and look again for another publication media.
On a late winter saturday night I felt hopeless and desprate cause I felt the failure runing through my veins, I started to set back and lose my belief in my dream and my passion for writing… It was a painfull time of the year, everyone was telling me that I should stop dreaming somehow, saw so many people giving up on me. Saw so much hate to the point that I wanted to sleept for a while cause I was truely exhausted from everything . I thought it is my chance to do something and be proud of it but chasing a dream on your own makes you think that you’re invincible for sure and if you got a bit of faith in your heart you’ll be back again on your track taking the lead to a success.
During this period I met new people and I kind of changed my social circle to a better comfort zone , those poeple were and still my family today even they are few but they are true ones. They helped and believed in the dream of me being a writer and they pushed me forward for doing it one of them was my man who made the cover and listened to everything about my creepy crazythoughts, even my family whom I thought that they will never help or believe in me and my potentials ended up being speechless once they had heard that a French publication media accepted to publish my work.
Right then I realized that I am moving and I am going somewhere where I’ll be happy about the place and the journey itself. On I assigned the contract and after another year I gave a birth to my baby book ” TWENTY YEARS OF DREAMS” exactly the 5/01/2017.
One last thing I want to tell is that hope lies in the dreams, so raise the bar and dream big you might not know what your dream is holding back for you. You have got to read one of juno’s untold stories and yet this is just the first one and more is on the way to be told in the name of Dreams.